Ask Willow
If you’ve got a problem that you’d like help or guidance with, an issue that you would like to understand better, or advice about how you can move on in your life, you can email me and I will consult the Tarot on your behalf by picking three cards at random and interpreting them.
In terms of phrasing your question, be as clear as you can about what you want to ask, and avoid ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions. The clearer you can be, the more likely you are to get a helpful reading. I cannot answer questions about third parties.
Backwards or Forwards
Question: Six months ago I was made redundant from a profession (in architectural design). I have no bond to it anymore but have spent ten years of my working life in this field. Since then I have drifted without any direction other than the desire to create art. But with this I am so loaded with expectations, that I trip myself up before I get out of the started gate. I need to know what my purpose in life is, how I can move forward and what type of work to look for that will support me in this journey. I don't know if I should go back to my previous career for security, or get some part-time work whilst I move through all this. I am frustrated, confused and in need of guidance.
Answer: Answer - In order to be clear about what aspect each card is addressing, I have formulated your reading into three questions.
1. What is the major stumbling-block which is preventing you from moving forward with your life? Here we have the Eight of Pentacles. You have always been very hard-working and you may have feelings of guilt that you are not doing so right now. The dilemma is - do you go back to what you know to be a safe option, or do you take the risk and pursue what you really want to do? I'm wondering how you think other people view where you are now in your life? Are you worried you might be letting other people dow or seen as a having failed in some way? Perhaps a significant part of the problem is tied up with concerns about being a disappointment. It seems like you are afraid to move forward at least partly because of what others will think.
2. What will support you right now to enable you to move on? Two of Pentacles. This card is telling you that your judgement is clouded by the issues above and it is difficult for you to see what to do because of other people's ideas and the way you feel judged. What could really help you is for you to take a step back - is it possible for you to get some time alone with your own thoughts in order to see your own situation more clearly? If so, you will find that although you are still weighing things up before moving forwards, it will be much more manageable and not so overwhelming. Carrying other people's baggage only drags you down and holds you back.
3.What might be the challenges/opportunities that lie ahead? Here we have the Hierophant. The biggest challenge of this card is about you wanting to 'move outside the box', to allow yourself to do something that is not particularly conventional - a big change when you have spent so many years in a well-respected profession. You don't know how your life will go if you take the leap - if you do so, will you fall into the abyss? It seems like fear plays a large part in maintaining your position of 'stuckness'. However, if you can overcome your fear and take the leap, you may be surprised by how much at home you feel and how fulfilling you find your involvement with art, in whatever way you choose to express it. The Hierophant also suggests that you could benefit a great deal from talking to someone who has no emotional involvement with you. Who springs to mind? Whilst it may not be easy for you to ask for help, talking over your options and exploring possibilities will enable you to know just what you want and to find a way of achieving that. Take it step by step, break your journey down into achievable steps and be more understanding towards yourself.
HOME OR ABROAD
Question: My grandmother died a while ago and I have just found out that she left me a lot of money. I'm in my mid-twenties and have always wanted to travel so this seemed like a golden opportunity. However, my parents think it would be dangerous for a woman travelling alone and also think I should do something 'worthy' with some of the money, like putting it towards the deposit on a house. I still live with my parents and have always done what I thought would please them, but I'm not ready to make the commitment of buying a house and would far rather go round the world for a year. I don't want to upset them but I do want to do something that pleases me for a change.
Answer: l. It looks like your father in particular has a really strong influence over you. Undoubtedly he loves you very much and has your best interests at heart and your strong bond with him makes it difficult for you to make your own decisions when they conflict with what he thinks is right for you. As long as you remain under your parents' roof it will be hard for you to be your own person. It's likely that your dad still thinks of you as 'his little princess' and hasn't realized yet that you are grown-up now.
2. Is this the scene you imagine when you think about going against your parents' wishes? A fight with no good outcome? Is your fear holding you back? You could carry on as you are but where would you be in five years from now? Separating from one's close family can be difficult, especially when you've been living with them for so long - but for you to fulfil yourself and grow as a person, it has to be done.
3. Well, here you are, the Queen of Swords, very much your own person. And this is indeed who you can be if you have the courage of your convictions and do what you feel is right for you. And does it have to be all or nothing - travel or a house - perhaps there is room for both? You are an adult with the right to do what's right for you, so talk to your parents honestly and openly - I've just pulled a fourth card to see what the outcome may be and it's the ACE OF PENTACLES - what a fantastic card - just go for it!
SEXUALITY
Question: I am a fifteen-year-old boy and my problem is a bit embarrassing. I think I might be gay. I've never been interested in girls, not like a boyfriend-girlfriend sort of thing, just as mates, and some of my friends at school have been teasing me. They don't mean any harm, they are great friends but they don't understand how it hurts me when they call me silly names like 'puffter'. I can't bring myself to tell them what I really feel and I don't know where to turn for help. Are there other boys like me? I don't know of anyone else.
Answer: l. The Knight of Swords is probably a good portrayal of how you are feeling on the inside - all sort of thoughts flying round and getting you nowhere, leaving you feeling that you just aren't in control. At the same time, this card is a caution against rushing headlong into anything, or acting on the spur of the moment.
2. Although you feel alone, there are plenty of other boys out there who have the same sort of feelings as you. Being part of a group would probably be very supportive for you - the five on this card are 'play-fighting' - having fun and getting a lot out of just being together. Have you thought about looking locally for a support group or some one-to-one support, or a telephone helpline? You will probably be able to find something like that if you look in your local library or newspaper. You'll undoubtedly be able to find lots of stuff online - forums, support groups etc..
3. The Strength card shows that you will come through this difficult time and be happy with who you are. Always remember that you are who you are and you deserve to be able to be yourself.
BACK TO WORK
Question: For the past fifteen years I've been bringing up my children and felt it was the right thing for me to do to stay at home with them but now that they are all independent and need me so much less I would like to go out to work again. It's so many years since I was last in paid employment that I've no idea what's out there and where to start. I think I have lost confidence over the years without realizing it and don't know whether I can put myself out there.
Answer: l. This is you - the Queen of Cups - your role as the stabilizing influence in your children's lives, the one that they could depend on in a crisis. It has in many ways been a comfortable role for you - you knew exactly what you needed to do. You could carry on staying at home and not 'put yourself out there', but really and truly you know in your heart of hearts that if you do that you will only stagnate. It's definitely time for you to find something different, something that will ultimately be fulfilling for you personally.
2. Nine of Wands - it's a scary prospect for you to move back into the world of paid employment after so long at home and the Nine of Wands highlights your fears that it may be very difficult. Yes, there will be challenges and you may find it hard work, especially to begin with, but fear not, you do have what it takes.
3. Five of Cups - this card demonstrates just how you might feel by and by if you don't take up the challenge. You'll be full of regret and self-recrimination, become depressed and very negative. You could try doing something practical to get yourself off the starting-block, e.g. is there a careers adviser at your local college, or a back-to-work programme? Visit your library to look at what going's on in your area. You may want to explore options around the areas of work you were in before you had your family - or do some re-training in an area of work that interests you. Take that first step and you'll soon be on your way.
SCHOLARSHIP
Question: Recently I won a scholarship to a university in America. It seems like a fantastic opportunity but I've never been away from home for more than a week, when I have been on holiday with a friend's family. I know my family is delighted and are happy for me to go but I'm not sure I will be able to cope. What have the cards got to say about this? James, aged 18
Answer: Hello James, and thank-you for your question. In order to get the most out of your three cards I have posed the following questions to the Tarot.
1. What is it that's really bothering you? The High Priestess - you play your cards close to your chest, so to speak and you're not sure that you want to tell your parents how you really feel. It's really important to you not to disappoint them as they have high expectations and hopes for you.
2. If you don't go - Ace of Cups - your family will be just as happy for you to stay put and do something else instead. They only want what's best for you and would be really unhappy if they found out later that you didn't really want to go.
3. If you do go - Four of Cups - you need to be sure that you make the most of the opportunity. Embracing the experience fully is the only way to get the best from it. There's no point going half-heartedly so have that talk with your parents - it will help you to make the decision that is right for you.
DRUGS
Question: I have just found out my seventeen-year-old daughter is taking drugs. I don't understand how this has happened as she has been brought up knowing the harm that drugs can do. What should I do? Suzanna.
Answer: Hello Suzanna, and thank-you for your question. I have broken it down into the following three parts which I hope will be of help to you.
1. What are your true feelings about the situation? Ace of Cups - You have only ever given your children love and believe you have protected them from the bad things out there in the world. It seems as though you feel personally injured by your daughter's behaviour, as though after all the love you have shown her, this is how she repays you - leaving you feeling so confused and not knowing what to do.
2. How might you best deal with the situation? Knight of Cups - Rushing in with all guns blazing is definitely not the way to go - go gently and offer an open invitation for your daughter to talk to you without her feeling judged. Show her you want to understand her and be open to what she has to say.
3. What might be the outcome if you follow the advice of the Knight of Cups? Knight of Wands - Even with a cautious approach there will still be upset and tears, but this will soon pass. Your daughter seems to be going through a phase, trying out the world and will come through in time.
